If there’s one word I encounter over and over, it’s creativity. On Instagram, we’ve all spoken about what makes us creative or how we’re trying to be more so. We even say that Instagram itself is a platform for creatives, and we sprinkle the word throughout our CVs and LinkedIn profiles like #saltbae.
At the agency where I work, we’re currently hiring, and when we were going over the ad and what we’re looking for, we agreed that we wanted someone who can think out of the box – a creative.
But what does that mean? What is a creative?
I personally think that we all stereotype creative people in one way or another. For me, it’s usually someone sat in a coffee shop typing away on their Macbooks, or scribbling in their notebooks or drawing in haphazard sketchpads, all while sipping coffee. When I see that person, I feel a sense of longing – I want to be as creative as they are. Which is stupid because, as a writer, I’m creative.
But I still doubt myself. My job has creative elements to it, and I aspire to live a creative life, but there are days when I feel like I don’t do enough to fit into that category – the elitist club of creatives. They’re the ones who publish blog posts every week, write at least 1,000 words every day (or whatever the equivalent is for non-writers) and have thousands of followers across their social accounts because their content, according to the comments they receive, is ‘creative.’
We all know that creative because we aspire to be like them. We put them on a pedestal, asking them to share their secrets to success: “How do you motivate yourself?” “How do you come with ideas like that?” “How do you write a novel?”
But the problem with these questions is that, while it’s great to see everyone inspiring each other, it can segregate these people into, as I said earlier, the elitist creative club. As if they’re the only people who have ideas ever while the rest of us have none at all. Only the chosen few have creative minds while the rest of us trail behind, never coming up with anything innovative, like someone compiled terms, conditions, copyright, and God knows what else for the whole thing.
But everyone has ideas. Anyone can come up with an idea about anything – it’s not just limited to writers, musicians, artists, and any other kind of content creator, right?
Let’s take a step back and look at the definition of the term ‘creativity:’
“the use of imagination or original ideas to create something; inventiveness. “
‘Make’ is the keyword here. We’re all capable of making something – it’s practically ingrained in our species. So why do we talk about creatives like they’re a superior breed?
It may relate to the developments in our world right now, and the need to prove ourselves in our working lives. An example of this is the growth of artificial intelligence, how the world is becoming more and more automated. Tech Crunch stated that:
“In a time of high unemployment, when traditional skills can be sourced or automated, creative skills remain highly sought after and highly valuable.”
The segregation is clear as day in this statement, as the word ‘valuable’ rings louder than any other in the sentence.
But then, if we’re all creative, how can some creatives be more valuable than others? Are their ideas better than most?
Not necessarily – we’re all capable of coming up with all sorts of ideas, good and bad. I think that some ideas are valued more than others, which is wrong. What makes an idea valuable anyway?
I believe that it’s not the idea itself that’s valuable – it’s the fact that it’s put into action. Does that mean the idea is good? Not always, but you’re not really going to know that until you’ve tried it out.
And maybe that’s where the elitist club comes from; they’re the ones who are confident enough to try out their ideas, and that’s why they’re admired so much. They see the value of their own ideas – they hype themselves up.
Words have a huge influence over us. If we tell ourselves that our ideas aren’t valuable, that they’re not good because we’re not creative enough, then we’re going to believe it and are then less likely to put any idea into action.
So, while there’s no routine, formula, or magic spell, it’s clear to see that there is a small difference between being creative and being a creative. It’s nothing more than confidence. Not necessarily the confidence in the work you’re producing, because we all have moments of self-doubt, but confident that your ideas are worth trying.
So next time I see someone in the coffee shop typing furiously on their Mac, I’m going to remind myself that I too am that person. I also have an idea to play around with, and I’m brave enough to do it.
Thank you to the team at HarperCollins for gifting me with this novel. I have not been paid for this review and all opinions are solely my own.
WWII has been well-documented in historical fiction, so much so that it feels every aspect of it has been explored in many ways, each so different from the other you still learn something new each time. The Librarian Of Auschwitz, for example, told the tale of Dita, a real-life Jewish prisoner of the notorious concentration camp who risked her life protecting fourteen books that were hidden in the camp. Tales like these bring forward the individuals that suffered at the hands of the Nazis, ensuring victims are being heard.
While the majority of ‘minorities’ come to mind when we think of the lives lost during this time period, one’ group’ that is often overlooked is the Germans. Not all Germans were Nazis, and many became victims of Hitler’s ugly regime.
The Women at Hitler’s Table explores the lives of a smaller group of people who risked everything during the war: Hitler’s food tasters. They were not known until recently when Margot Wölk told her story for the first time in 2012. It is her account that inspired this novel.
Sadly, Wölk passed before the author, Rosella Postorino, had a chance to meet her, and so these events are not entirely accurate. However, what is included helps paint the picture of the fifteen women who risked their lives three times a day as they tasted Hitler’s food before it was delivered to him. He was paranoid about being poisoned, so women were randomly selected to try his food first – they had no choice in risking their lives.
The most appealing aspect of The Women At Hitler’s Table is that it’s an entirely different perspective of the war. Not only does it tell the tale of unsung heroes, it ties in with the current revelation of remembering the women who fought during the war – as this novel shows, in more ways than one. It’s certainly interesting when the protagonist states, ‘Women didn’t die as heroes.’ I feel that this represents Wolk’s opinion of herself and other food tasters, as perceived by Postorino, as the reason Wolk never shared her story until recently is that she felt ashamed and guilty of what she had done. She never even told her husband. Wolk could have possibly felt then that the group of women risking their lives to protect the Fürhrer – or, more realistically, to survive – were not heroes due to the nature of their task.
What I love most about this book was that none of the characters were likeable for me. There was so much conflict surrounding each person, particularly the protagonist Rosa, as she became involved with Ziegler, an SS Officer, while her husband was missing. While this was a blatant act of betrayal in more ways than one, it’s not hard to tell throughout the novel that Rosa is incredibly lonely. Her parents are dead, her husband Gregor is missing, and any friends she has are seemingly absent from the book, aside from her fellow food tasters. She moved to the country from Berlin, an entirely different setting, making her feel more lost than before.
This applied to the other food tasters as well, as they came from different backgrounds and have different opinions, creating conflict amongst the group – the most prominent example being that not all the women were on Hitler’s side. Of course, one can’t agree with every opinion, meaning that I was continually switching sides as they continued to argue over different things. Yet at the same time, a sisterhood was formed as they support each other through their worst times.
The way relationships are handled throughout the novel was interesting. Almost all relationships were strained, not completely relaxed. I think the most prominent example of this was Rosa’s affair with Ziegler, where it’s plain to see that there was little emotion between them. They’re both lonely and stressed, and that’s as far as it goes. Of course, any relationship with an SS officer is going to be complicated, as evidenced by Jewish Elfriede’s deportation despite Rosa begging him to halt it. He threatens her with a gun, strangles her, they’re both married and have gone through unimaginable experiences.
To start off with, I sympathized with Rosa through and through. But her character changed drastically throughout the course of the novel – understandable but still it didn’t do her any favours. I struggled to connect with her multiple times and strongly disagreed with many of her opinions. For example, when Leni was raped, Rosa was mad at Elfriede for informing the Ziegler and making a big deal out of it, causing more trouble. I suppose at this point in the novel she was very out of tune with herself, but I still think that’s no excuse for a decision like that.
Her changing character is further evidenced when she states: ‘The ability to adapt is the greatest resource of human beings, but the more I adapted, the less I felt human.’ These words strongly indicate how degraded she feels as she continues her work as a food taster. Without feeling ‘human,’ she felt a lack of emotion, hence her growing coldness and distance, such as her anger towards Elfriede for informing officers of Leni’s rape.
After a bad batch of honey causes a scare and Rosa collapses, the officers shut the women in a room for hours, sick staining their clothing and unable to leave for the toilet, resulting in them peeing in buckets. These degrading techniques would be enough to drive someone insane, especially when they’re let out the next morning and ordered to carrying on tasting straight away without cleaning themselves up. It’s a degrading treatment of the women that shows they are nothing but workers, not people.
But it’s a job that allows her to eat properly while the public starve.
Rosa’s growing ignorance does lead to interesting considerations that readers are left pondering. At one point, as she continued to put her head in the sand, she says:
‘I could have known about the mass graves, about the Jews who lay prone, huddled together, waiting for the shot to the back of the head, could have known about the earth shoveled onto their backs, and the wood ash and calcium hypochlorite so they wouldn’t stink, about the new layer of Jews who would lie down on the corpses and offer the backs of their heads in turn. I could have known about the children picked up by the hair and shot, about the kilometer-long lines of Jews or Russians—They’re Asian, they’re not like us–ready to fall into the graves or climb onto trucks to be gassed with carbon monoxide. I could have learned about it before the end of the war. I could have asked. I but I was afraid and couldn’t speak and didn’t want to know.’
The final sentence suggests Rosa’s reluctance to care about what’s happening around her, which can relate to the strict regime Germans were living under, her depression, or a combination of both. She is likely using the former as an excuse. There is also the indication that she is unlikely to care whether she lives or dies, seeing as she certainly doesn’t care about any of the prisoners.
Furthermore, the sentence ‘They’re Asian, they’re not like us’ shows her using the beliefs of the dictatorship as an alibi – they’re different from the Germans, so the regime has no excuse but to eliminate them. This attitude frustrated me continually throughout.
The issue with critiquing a book like this is that it’s hard to admit when you’re disappointed with the plot, which sadly I was. I felt like there were many loose ends left untied, like what happened to Ziegler. But of course, this is not through the fault of the author – Wölk didn’t know what happened to her real-life ‘colleagues,’ so Postorino didn’t, so it makes sense that Rosa didn’t either. However, it still left me with an unfinished conclusion.
Overall, I enjoyed this book, as it blended well-researched history with fiction smoothly, I was able to engage with it, following Rosa’s every step. But it’s not my favourite book. While I liked that most of the characters were disagreeable – it shows that the writer has captivated you enough to feel so strongly – Rosa’s ignorance of these events seriously bothered me.
Saying that, it can be said that this possibly reflects the attitude of many citizens who lived through the war, as those believing in Hitler and the regime who knew about the camps likely turned a blind eye (not all of course.) Just a theory, but it’s an interesting thought.
When I started my bookstagram account, I had no clue what I was getting myself into. It’s simultaneously exciting, motivating, stressful and intimidating – I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve scrolled through my feed and thought ‘Why can’t I take photos like that?’ or ‘Wow, this person just reached 5643789 followers. My account is moving so slooowly.’ And I know from conversations and many Insta captions that I’m not alone here.
So, I’ve compiled a list of things I, a bookstagrammer, typically think in a day in the hopes of finding more people that share the same thoughts. And I’ve only included 10, but I’m pretty sure I could write about a lot more
That book sounds incredible…
*adds to the many other books in my online shopping book*
It also looks stunning. Perfect for my feed.
We are all guilty of simply ordering a book for the ‘gram.
I have an idea for a photo but it’s going to take so.much.time.
#bedofooks photos anyone?
WHY CAN I NOT TAKE GOOD PHOTOS?
Fairy lights won’t twist the way I want. The colours don’t match. The arrangement looks off. My cup of tea is an awful colour. *574833 shots later* Great. It’s been hours, still not great and now the lighting is gone.
Finally! The perfect shot. Do I reaaaly need to put all of these books away now?
And the lights, leaves, bedding, teddies, and whatever else I’ve brought from downstairs.
Why does it always rain when I need to take an outdoor photo?
My theme is suffering for it.
This setting is not the setting that I need.
It’s Autumn – where are all the brightly coloured leaves?
People are coming. Be cool. It’s only a photo.
But they don’t stop staring!
THEY WON’T LEAVE.
How dare they use a public space and interrupt my photo session?
You know what, just do it. You’ll never see them again.
Could be worse – I could be doing drugs right now.
Right, done. GO GO GO
Never do I pack anything as quickly as my books and props.
Now, let’s check the photos…
I’ve done it again. My finger is covering the title.
Not even worth it. My photos are terrible.
WHY CAN’T I TAKE GOOD PHOTOS
Wonder if editing will make a difference…
This needs to be darker, this bit needs to be lighter, this needs to be straighter, and my entire face needs improvements.
Omg. It actually looks good!
Maybe I’m better at this than I thought.
HOW DO I WRITE GOOD CAPTIONS???
Seriously, how do people do this?
Ok all done. Now let’s see what everyone else is posting….
Like…like…like…like….WHY CAN’T I TAKE GOOD PHOTOS LIKE THAT???
*450 hours later* Time for some reading now I think.
I think I’ll read that book that everyone is talking about on Instagram.
So the last five books have been featured on my grid, and I’ve read two of them.
I have a LONG TBR. It’s cool though, I’ll read them eventually.
Wow. This book is insane. I can see the hype.
Thank you to the person who recommended this to me.
Oh.My.God. I can’t believe he’s been killed off.
I wonder what *insert bookstagrammer’s name* thought of this?
Finished. Wow. Insane.
And so begins the stage where I mourn every character in the book.
In September, I travelled to Rome with my boyfriend for the first time, and I can honestly say that it was one of the most beautiful and eye-opening experiences that I’ve had so far.
Rome is a city that has always stood out to me for many reasons. For one, it’s always looked so so beautiful (turns out, it’s even more so in real life!), and secondly, it’s a city that is full of culture and history, and I knew that I would come away feeling breathless and enlightened.
I can confirm that I did leave the country feeling both of those things and more. I was undoubtedly tired – if you ever go to Rome, be prepared for a lot of walking! But I would happily suffer from aching feet all my life is it means I get to explore the beautiful cobbled streets and small neighbourhoods again.
So here’s what we saw on our trip to Rome.
Our First Evening
So we landed in Rome Fiumicino airport – also known as the Leonardo Da Vinci airport – and it took us just under an hour to get to our Airbnb, located in Roma Nomentana, which was pretty good going. We selected our BnB because it was in a local area away from the bustle of the city centre so that we could experience true Rome without so much of the tourist traps. The first thing that captivated us was the clusters of pastel-coloured flats, each window accompanied by a pair of dark green shutters, some with small balconies, a few of which shelving potted plants, some buildings even had ivy twisting up the walls. It looked quaint, and the streets were quiet as it was a Thursday evening.
Admittedly, we did get lost. But when we finally found our BnB – a basement apartment tucked away on a small street – we dumped our bags and listened to our host Luigi’s restaurant recommendations as we were both starving (we almost missed our flight so did a runner and missed our chance to grab some food!).
He suggested The Trap, a small restaurant that was cheap yet so so good. As it was not a tourist place, there were no English translations, so the waitress had to help us work out what some of the dishes were, but she was lovely and willing to answer all of our questions. However, I misheard her at some point, because I ended up ordering a pizza that had streaks of ham adorning it – and I hate red meat! Whoops. I tried it anyway as I felt bad but still wasn’t a fan. So my boyfriend picked the ham, while I ate the rest, which was one of the best I had on our holiday. My boyfriend thought the same about his pizza too.
Once we were stuffed, we headed back to our BnB for the night.
The Colosseum, Palatine Hill & The Forum
We woke early the next day and got the metro into the centre of Rome. Our first stop was Castel Saint’ Angelo as we needed to collect our Roma Passes from the tourist info point just outside (highly recommend getting one of these if you’re going to Rome). This was easy to find, and the Castel itself looked so intriguing that we visited a few days later.
So, once we collected our passes, we were off to the Colosseum.
The only thing is, it takes 40 mins approx to get from Castel Sant’Angelo to the Colosseum, which usually is fine for my boyfriend and I as we don’t mind walking long distances. But, Rome’s streets are quite uneven, we weren’t 100% sure of the route, and it was 27 degrees. So it actually took us longer to get there than we anticipated.
However, this walk also presented us with its advantages, as we got to see more of Rome than we would have if we got a bus or taxi. It was so beautiful, diverse, and the architecture was breathtaking. You could see snippets of Rome’s history on every street, the remains of the buildings and constructions that showcase the city, spanning across centuries.
We spotted the Colosseum a few miles out, the top of the curved infrastructure peered out to us over the central courtyard and the herds of huge tourist groups wearing walkie talkies attached by a green cotton string, all blocking the way. After a long walk, it sure was a delight to see the Colosseum at last.
After an hour’s wait in the skip the line queue and navigating through security, we were finally walking inside the Colosseum. And I’m struggling to find the words that explain how incredible and insightful it was, so I’m just going to leave you with some photos.
Palatine Hill was a refreshing place to visit, as, other than the remains of Ancient Roman palaces and houses, there were old vineyards, gardens, and fields stretching around the marble and stone buildings, a nice break after the bustle of the Colosseum. It also gives you the chance to take in some of the most beautiful views of Rome itself.
The Forum was high on my list of places to visit, but I can safely say that we spent more time there than I imagines as it is bloody massive. It’s one of the few sites where you can feel history coming alive as you walk through the ancient remains of temples and palaces, including Nero’s. Our feet were screaming by this point, but it was so extraordinary that we had to explore every corner here.
After an incredibly long day (35,000 steps on a scorching day!), my boyfriend and I got a train back to our BnB for a quick nap before getting dinner at a local restaurant nearby.
The Vatican Museums & Sistine Chapel
Seeing how busy the queues were for the Colosseum, we knew we had to get to the Vatican early. We had booked tickets for 11.30, so we initially set our alarms for 7 (shower, food, train into town, queues) but didn’t get up until eight something whoops. Where our BnB was a basement flat, the lights were dim, and it was dark and cosy inside, making getting up early quite a challenge throughout this holiday!
When we were back into the Roman centre, the first thing we did was hunt for a coffee shop (we lived off coffee during our time there). We found a small one on a little cobbled street slightly out of the central piazzas that were quiet that morning. After conversing with the charismatic host, we sat down outside with a cappuccino and pastry each.
This is one of my favourite memories of Rome, as the warming sun was still fresh and slightly crisp, and sitting there observing the daily life of Italy was just so charming. In a way, I didn’t want to leave for the Vatican!
But I’m so glad that we did, though. The Vatican Museums are breathtaking, full of a wide variety of art collected from around the world across centuries. My favourite was the tapestry room, where intricate religious scenes were sewn and hung from one end of the dark room to the other.
And let’s not forget about the Sistine Chapel. Standing underneath Michaelangelo’s infamous ceiling was undoubtedly an unforgettable experience.
The only negative thing I have to say is that the Vatican is so overcrowded – we were all huddling along like eccentric penguins, stretching their necks to see the architecture and artwork. I will admit that it did take away from the experience for me as it made the tour more tiring, and, as a very impatient person, I did get frustrated at the tour groups who kept stopping in the middle of the walkways!
Castel Saint’ Angelo
After the Vatican, we were both starving, so gave in and stopped at a tourist trap restaurant (we promised ourselves we’d try and avoid as many of these as possible!) located around the corner which the worst moment of the holiday in all honesty. The coffee wasn’t right, and our sandwich fillings only covered half the bread.
We wandered around the city, which was becoming insanely busy as it was a Saturday. The sky started to turn burnt orange, and the buildings lit up. We noticed more tourists emerging and being targeted by the salespeople on the streets and felt excited by how busy it was. After discovering a few small areas that we hadn’t seen before, we found ourselves by Castel Saint’ Angelo and decided to use our Roma passes and explore.
This is by far one of my favourite moments of our holiday. After walking through the labyrinth of winding staircases, stately rooms, and ancient structures, we reached the top of the building. We discovered that there was a small cocktail bar – ten tables at most – that provided views overlooking the city. The river curved underneath the bridges, places that we hadn’t seen illuminated by the setting sun, and St Peter’s Basicillia towered over it all. It was breathtaking. We ended up staying there for hours (it was European Heritage Day, so sites remained open until 9/10 pm), drinking an Aperol Spritz while watching the sun fade into the river while the moon slowly took its place. It was beautiful, and it allowed us to see Rome in its full vibrancy – many shops were still open, the toys that salespeople were selling flashed neon lights, the sounds of conversations merging into the air. I teared up at the sight!
After finally tearing ourselves away from the view, we headed down to the ground on the hunt for food.
The Pantheon & The Trevi Fountain
Sunday had a bit of a lazy feel, as we hadn’t planned anything for this day – we were going to explore the things we’ve noticed but hadn’t had a chance to look at yet. We had our first lie-in, drank our 34738th cups of coffee for our time here, then headed out to grab lunch (pizzaaaa) and see the Pantheon.
If you’re an Assassin’s Creed fan, I’m sure you can remember climbing this temple and purchasing it in the game – I did, and I didn’t know much about the Pantheon other than the game, so I was looking forward to learning more about it. We had attempted to visit this monument the night before as it was open later for European Heritage Day, but we got there just as it closed, so it became our priority this morning.
Now, if you go to ever go to Rome, make sure the Pantheon is at the top of your to-do list. Because wow.
When we turned the corner, the ancient temple loomed over Piazza Della Rotonda, so the square was a hub of activity as touristy restaurants lined the square and an incredibly long queue made its way around, all waiting for to see the Pantheon. The building itself is an architectural marvel – constructed in 120AD after the original burnt down, it’s survived wars and earthquakes, and so the unique structure stands.
The Trevi Fountain
After wandering around, buying gifts for family, and stopping in the Lindt cafe, we headed off to the Trevi Fountain.
Like the Pantheon, the Trevi Fountain made my boyfriend, and I gasp as we turned the corner. Its fantastic marble depictions of sea horses, mermen, and the water crashing into the base of the fountain come together to personify the sea itself. I thought we’d only spend a few minutes there, but we ended up staying for around half-hour as there were so many intricate details to marvel at.
Our BnB Date
When planning out this trip, my boyfriend and I decided that one night we wanted to stay in and cook our own food using fresh Italian ingredients – we cook pasta a lot, so we wanted to do so but in the most authentic way possible. So we purchased fresh pasta, parmesan, ingredients for a tomato sauce, and even a loaf of bread to make garlic bread (I also popped into a bookshop!). I just wanted to share a few photos of this because it tasted so good, a vast difference compared to what we make at home. We even styled up the table with a rose we’d purchased the day before and prosecco (Italian prosecco tastes 1000x better than the stuff we get back in the UK, FYI).
An Italian Picnic In Villa Borghese
My boyfriend’s friend’s girlfriend is Italian, so we arranged to meet her in Rome (there were a lot of ‘friends’ in that sentence :L ). She took us to Villa Borghese, armed with a suitcase of food (not exaggerating), we laid out a picnic mat and tucked into the food and drink that she and her family had prepared for us – Italians certainly love to please!
We had cannelloni, tiramisu (the best out of our holiday), small almond parcels (never found out what they were!), and wine. It tasted amazing, some of the best food we had during our entire trip. She explained some of the things that we had noticed throughout our stay, such as a few cultural differences that took us by surprise, the constant harassment of salespeople, public transport, and just caught up with what was going on with our lives.
Afterward, we walked around the park – a refreshing break from the bustle of the city – and my boyfriend and I rented a boat on the enchanting artificial lake.
Once we said goodbye, we wandered around the surrounding high streets and then headed back to our BnB to get ready for dinner.
Our Final Night In Rome
Again, I wanted to take a moment to share our meal this night as it was our final night in Rome, and we went all out with our food.
We dressed up – as in he wore a suit and I wore a dress – and went to a more expensive restaurant in the city. We originally wanted a three-course meal, but as it was a Monday evening, everything closed earlier (10 pm), so we had a bottle of prosecco, calamari and pasta course each. One of our best meals out of our holiday. Then, after the restaurant closed, we wandered the uneven back streets, taking in the quietness of it all, and bought gelato at one of the 478394732 gelato places in Rome. I had tiramisu and Nutella! We ate in front of the Pantheon, then got a bus back to our BnB.
The morning after, we packed and stopped at a coffee shop near where we stayed, our wheelie cases announcing our entrance. It was nice to end in Nomantana as we got to savour calm, quaint Italy with its sunset-coloured flats, motorcyclists weaving their way through the school traffic while drinking cappuccinos that tasted better than what we had in the centre. Feeling tired and slightly blue about leaving, we got on the train to the airport and started our journey home.
I’m the type of person who is just not willing to settle. I have a sort-of plan for my future, and everything I do contributes towards that. When I start something, I’ll keep going until I’ve mastered it, become confident in it, then move on to the next challenge and utilise my newly-found skills. So, I try really hard to remind myself to be grateful for the things that I already have.
I say that like it’s a hard thing to do, but that’s because it is. I’m always looking for the next best thing (I sound so horrible when I say that!). So this blog is my reminder of every amazing thing in my life.
I can read
There are so many adults and children – particularly women – who cannot read and do not have access to books. I’d hate to live in a world like that, as reading is an essential skill and books are one of the best things in life.
2. I can write
For same reasons as above.
3. I work for myself and make my own money
My first job, I was in the last year of secondary school and it was a paper round. I made hardly any money from it (£10 a week at most) and I absolutely hated the job but loved the fact that I had my own money to spend on whatever I wanted. I’m now even more grateful to be working on creative projects and making progress with my career goal, and, even though right now is not what I plan on doing forever, I’m happy to actually have a job that I enjoy.
4. I have ambition
As I said earlier, I know what I want to achieve in life and I have a rough idea of how I’m going to do it. Without a goal in life, I’d feel lost and like everything is pointless. I’ve known people who don’t have any particular aims or goals and are content working in a job that doesn’t mean much to them, who’ll then go home, watch TV and go to bed ready to live the same day over and over. Ambition is what pushes people to break out of that cycle and do something that they love, and I’m so so grateful to have it.
Because I would not have achieved half the things I’ve achieved without it, nor would I be able to push myself further.
6. My ever-growing pile of books
Books inspire me to write, try new things, stand up for what I believe in, and pull me up from the ground whenever I feel like I’ve fallen.
7. The forest
Or any nature in general. While I love cities, it is the forest that inspires my writing, my book photos, and helps clear my headspace when needed.
8. The internet
Without it, my job wouldn’t exist neither my bookstagram account, and I wouldn’t be able to have my work published on different sites for people to see. Without the internet, I’m not sure where I’d be!
9. My confidence
Ok, so I’m not 100% confident yet. But I’m so so much better than what I used to be. I never had many friends and I had strict parents so I never went out until quite later than everyone else did – guess I just never learnt to socialise properly. There are still times when I’m barely speaking as I have no idea what to say, or I’d rather just hang back and listen, but I’m definitely speaking out more than I used to.
I remember putting off starting this blog and my bookstagram because I didn’t want people to read my writing or hear my opinions. And when I started my Insta, I refused to upload any pictures that showed my face. I didn’t introduce myself until about six months after starting my account as I didn’t want anyone to know anything about me.
Now, I still stutter and panic while my face turns into the colour of a tomato whenever I have to stand in front of people and speak, and I still don’t know what to say to people who I haven’t long met, but I now ask for help when I need it, can book appointments on the phone, and confidently tell people what I like to do without apologising for it. So yeah, I’m quite proud of myself.
10. I had the chance to go to university
I say this because it was during uni that my confidence really grew. It had to, else I wouldn’t have made any friends!
But it’s not just that. University is disgustingly expensive, and I know that there are so many young people who would love to go but can’t afford to. So I’m incredibly thankful for the amount of crippling debt I now have (which I probably will never pay off), as it meant that I got to further my education and expand my skills.
It is also because of university that I got to experience many new things. I lived without my parents, rented two houses, went on so many day and nights out (I held owls for the first time ever!) I joined societies and tried out new activities, learned to balance my work without my parents there to help (even though many of my deadlines were completed in the early hours of the morning they were due, whoops), realised exactly how much drink I can handle (a very important skill in my opinion, even if I ignored it most of the time), took up work experience with a magazine company, and I tried a long distance relationship for the first time (and we’re still going strong insert sunglasses emoji)
Without university, I would not have done even half of those things.
11. My mind
Ok, so this one is going to sound so stuck up, but I’m grateful for my mind’s ability to wander away and take me places with my thoughts, then come back again to this world with new ideas. To me, our minds are weapons, and I love that it keeps me thinking, dreaming, and helps me overcome any obstacles that I encounter.
12. Our generation
Our generation are currently fighting for so much. Equality, our planet, better working lives, mental health awareness. We’re working to for the houses, we want despite the rising prices, the kids that we’ll have once we’ve found a steady job and a suitable living space, we’re starting our own businesses, we’re working to make a difference in our world.
I love that I’ve witnessed movements such as #metoo and Black Lives Matter, the climate change protests. I love seeing us all take a stand, especially now that Trump and Johnson are in power, abortions have been taken away in America and there seems to be violent acts committed everyday. I am therefore thankful for the progressive thinkers who emerge from the hate and controversy and encourages us to do the same.
For when you’re tired, hot, on the move, too drunk/hungover, sick, having a bad skin day…water fits every situation. And there are many out there in the world without a clean water source which affects their health.
Plus, that moment when you wake up in the night parched and neck a whole glass like it’s come from the Garden Of Eden itself is one of the best moments ever.
Put this in because I’m writing while I’m hungry. And cheese really is the best food there is, especially when it’s on a pizza.
15. The fact that I’m not as self-conscious as I used to be
I used to shave my legs as soon as I saw one hair. I would never leave the house without make up. I wouldn’t even take my make up off before I went to bed because I hated the way my eyes looked without it.
At school, I received a few comments about my looks. I have tight tendons in my legs, so I walk funny, and I once heard two girls standing behind me trying to work out why I ‘walk funny’. A few years later in secondary, the same two girls were sat behind me in class laughing at how hairy my neck was. There was another time when we had to do an activity with cameras in class, and a boy took a photo then took the mick out of my smile. Girls would find it strange that I did my make up in the toilets and take it off at the end of the day, because I wasn’t allowed make up at home. I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 18. All of these things made me so so self conscious, and I’d constantly be worrying about what I looked like.
Now, I wear dresses even if I haven’t shaved my legs. I can leave the house without make up and my curly hair on show. I don’t care that I walk funny and I’m not afraid to smile. I don’t cover up my spots.
I’m not perfect. I hate when my stomach is bloating or I worry if I feel too hot and get sweat patches. I worry that my hair looks greasy when I know it isn’t. But I’m nowhere near as bad as I once was, and I know that I’ll get over the remaining insecurities that I have. Because they’re normal – everyone has them.
16. The people who didn’t believe in me
As mentioned earlier, in school I was surrounded by comments and remarks about my appearance. Well I was also judged for what I wanted to do in life.
I remember the first time I told someone I wanted to be an author. Her exact words were ‘Have you ever written a book?” and when I said that I had, she snorted and said “Right,” and didn’t want to speak anything of it.
After that, I stayed quiet about my dream career. When I told another girl that I loved English, she said that it’s a pointless thing to be good at because ‘we can all read, what else do you need?”
One of my English teachers gave me a target grade lower than the rest of the class because she wasn’t sure if I’d improve by the end of the year (guess what – I did).
There have been many other comments in between and after that. And there have been many that weren’t just about writing and reading. The first memory that comes to mind is when I was in a group for a Science project (one of my worst subjects) and I had an idea, and the response was ‘Shut up Chloe’ and that I was being annoying. That was the first time I had spoken up, as I didn’t really understand anything else about what we were doing.
But these comments made me determined to prove people wrong. All these comments just add fuel to the fire, as I’m too competitive and stubborn to let them get to me. So to all those people, thank you.
17. The people who did believe in me
While I was motivated by the ones who didn’t believe in me, there were still moments when their words did get to me and I broke down. Without the people who helped put me back on track, my boyfriend, my friends, family, etc, I think I’d spend at least a week hiding away too afraid to do anything as I’m scared it won’t be good enough. I need those people around me to keep me going.
Because I wouldn’t have got through uni without it, nor would I be able to get a train at 7 everyday.
I write this because it’s just started pouring down with rain, accompanied by thunder and flashes of writing. I hate the cold with a passion. Autumn is my least favourite season – it’s pretty, but cold, rainy, I don’t like wearing 5054789 layers and I most certainly do not like pumpkin lattes.
Sunny weather, longer days, summer dresses, beer gardens, picnics and writing outdoors. Now that’s what I get excited for.
20. The things I got to do before technology took over
Being a 90’s baby, my childhood consisted of days out in the woods, Haven holidays in the UK, Disney films, books and cheesy pop legends like Backstreet Boys. My youngest sister listens to songs about getting high, doesn’t really have any hobbies, and won’t let us sing happy birthday to her until she has had a photo taken. And she hasn’t watched every Disney film that exists.
That’s not a childhood to me.
21. A cup of tea
Especially in my favourite mug, brewed to perfection.
Because 90% of adult life is spending the day thinking about your bed.
23. The little things that can really make my day
Someone’s reaction when they receive the perfect present. Making the train just before it leaves. Lazy Sunday mornings. Feeling proud of something I’ve done. Comfort meals and chocolate when I’m having a bad day. When I realise my period has finished. The times when my friends make me laugh so much I can’t breathe. Seeing my boyfriend. Shoes that don’t give me blisters. Catching the scent of my favourite candle. Baths. Having something to look forward to. And so much more.
So that’s me. Tell me about you – what are you grateful for?
Whenever you ask someone what the best Harry Potter book is, it’s usually Prisoner Of Azkaban. Now, I’m not saying it’s a terrible book – I can see why some deem it the most significant. It’s a lot darker compared to the first two Harry Potter books, the characters come into their own, whereas in the previous two they are still finding themselves and their way around the wizarding world, and we meet Sirius Black, Harry’s godfather and a key character in the series.
But, Order Of The Phoenix speaks more volumes for me. While many say that it’s a challenging read – I mean it is 766 pages, a vast amount compared to Philosopher’s Stone (223 pages) – and that it’s not as fun as the previous installments in the series, I personally liked it because of those reasons. Order Of The Phoenix is a major turning point for Harry and his friends, so it only fits for the book to carry a different tone.
So, here are just some of the many, many reasons why Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix is the best book in the Harry Potter series.
It contains one of the most significant moments in the series
Think back to the prophecy made by Professor Trelawny to Dumbledore:
This quote is spoken during Trelawny’s interview for the position of Divination teacher at Hogwarts, and while Dumbledore was giving the interview, Snape overheard the first part of the prophecy which he then reported to Voldemort. This resulted in James and Lily Potter going into hiding once Dumbledore warned them, but, after trusting Peter Pettigrew with their location, Voldemort killed them while trying to kill Harry. After this, one of Voldemort’s aims was to find out the end of the prophecy.
He believed that the last part of the prophecy would tell him how to kill Harry, and so a large part of the Order’s work was to prevent this from happening. In the end, Voldemort never got to hear the rest of the prophecy, but Harry did, which also led to Dumbledore’s explanation of why Voldemort is so obsessed with him. This conversation was one of the big moments that we had been waiting for – after reading the first four books and waiting for the reason to be revealed, it finally happened, setting up the premise for the last two installments of this series. The Harry Potter franchise rests on that explanation.
The Breaking Down Of Harry Potter
Ok, I’m not saying that Harry’s meltdowns are a good thing because they’re not. However, it makes him a more relatable character and gives him depth.
There are many darker themes throughout this novel, and truths are revealed about a handful of characters which shows them in a new light. And one example of this is James Potter.
During Harry’s Occlumency lessons, he watched James act like an arrogant bully towards Snape when they were at Hogwarts, a glass-shattering illusion for Harry, and readers everywhere, as a character who we thought was a hero wasn’t all that we thought he was.
This can even be said for Dumbledore. As Harry grows throughout the series, his relationship with Dumbledore becomes slightly strained and frustrating, especially in this book when he abandons Harry during one of the worst years of his life. Because of this, he then feels more alone than ever and is thus vulnerable to Voldemort.
These revelations throughout the book, mourning for Cedric, the pressure of leading Dumbledore’s Army, the death of Sirius and that fact that, at the end of the novel, Voldemort is still alive and well, all add up to this feeling of hatred in Harry. It all comes together as a weight that makes him feel alone and like nothing more than a pawn in an extremely dark game.
We’ve all experienced these feelings (obviously we’re not being hunted by the darkest wizard of all time, but you get what I mean), so to see our hero break down, constantly feeling tired and broken, can kind of create a somewhat reassuring feeling inside us readers. Like Harry comes to realise at the end of the novel, we are not alone, even though it feels that way sometimes.
Yes, this is a book set in a wizarding world, but several themes are incredibly relevant right now.
One of the most central themes is the abuse of power, as illustrated best by the most hated character in the wizarding world: Professor Umbridge.
It is clear to see that Dolores Umbridge loves power more than anything else. As she rises from the Defence Against The Dark Arts professor to a leading role in Hogwarts, she continues to exert her authority in cruel ways, even going as far as firing Trelawny (until Albus Dumbledore intervenes).
She, along with the Ministry, uses Voldemort’s return as a campaign for continuous political power, worrying that if everyone sides with Harry and Dumbledore, people will attempt to overthrow the Ministry. The fact that Fudge has that much control that he succeeds in creating an active campaign against Harry that detriments the public’s safety without anyone realising, apart from the few people who do, is terrifying, and shows the extent leaders will go through to maintain their power.
Another theme that features strongly in Order Of The Phoenix is the rise of youth activism. Right now, our generation is protesting against global warming, unequal rights, causes that will significantly affect our future. In the book, Dumbledore’s Army rises against the restrictions that the Ministry imposes by practicing defensive spells and learning to defend themselves against the dark forces that roam free. It was a protest against Umbridge and her tight reign throughout Hogwarts. They fight for what is right.
Through this, J.K Rowling is teaching her readers to not settle for injustice. And, going by the movements that our generations have created such as #metoo and Black Lives Matter, her readers are listening.
It Shows That J.K Rowling Stopped Messing Around
The first three Harry Potter books were fun and light-hearted, full of wizarding delights, owls and Quidditch games. The way that death is treated in these books prove this; Quill’s death was nowhere near as saddening as Cedric’s death in The Goblet Of Fire, as Quill was a villain. We all loved Cedric. It broke us, as it suddenly took away the belief that the good characters will survive.
Rowling then decided to really rub it in by killing Sirius.
Harry had only just found the family that he had wanted all his life. His father figure, someone to look up to. He was Harry’s chance to escape the Dursley’s home. So Rowling decides to rip all of that to shreds.
The fact that she does this just as a small glimmer of happiness is entering Harry’s life tells us that no one is safe, evil, or not. It is from this point that we started to worry about our favourite characters.
Secondary characters come into their own
As mentioned earlier, in Prisoner of Azkaban, we see Harry, Ron and Hermione come into their own after spending the first two books sussing out the wizarding world.
Well, in Order Of The Phoenix, more of our favourite characters came into the spotlight. Moody, Tonks, Lupin, Fred, and George (to name a few), all become prominent characters. We learn more about Ron’s parents and how they’ve previously battled Death Eaters and are ready to do it again. We get an insight into Snape’s life, turning him into more of a three-dimensional character. Harry’s relationship grows with these characters, which they all benefit from.
Hay-On-Wye, aptly named Britain’s ‘The Town of Books’ is a reader’s paradise. It seems to be immune to the dying-bookshop trend, as it has 21 bookshops filled with rare editions, recent releases, poetry, and so much more.
I’ve visited twice now, my bank account crying both times, and I can’t wait to go back and add to my reading pile. It’s just a never-ending world of books, and I never seem to walk away from there feeling like I bought everything I wanted – there are always more books to discover!
My favourite bookshops in Hay-On-Wye
Hay Cinema Bookshop
So this bookshop has 200,000 books!! Renovated from a restored cinema, Hay Cinema Bookshop contains every genre you can think of, non-fiction titles like art, music, history and zoology, stunning editions of classics and even a few rare finds. It’s the longest established bookshop in this little town, and you can see why it’s been so successful. I actually got lost in here; my sister came in to find me, and suddenly we had no idea where the exit was, wandering around and just finding more bookshelves – I encountered so many more sections that hadn’t explored yet, so I will definitely be returning soon!
Richard Booth’s Bookshop
Richard Booth, the self-proclaimed ‘King of Hay,’ is known for partly setting up Hay-On-Wye’s second-hand bookshop success. He opened his bookshop in a building that was previously a fire station, purchased books from the deteriorating libraries in America and used them as the beginning stock of the newly opened Richard Booth’s Bookshop. The shop has a quirky atmosphere, comfy seating, and three floors rammed with wooden bookshelves and displays. There’s also a cafe and cinema, but I am yet to take a look at these.
Addyman Books is divided into three separate shops throughout Hay-On-Wye, and each one caters to different tastes. This one, located on Lion Street, is painted in a beautiful blue colour with intricate patterns that made it feel so luxurious, and the floorboards creaked, and it just smelt of books (obviously), and oh my god I didn’t want to leave. There is a small room dedicated to Penguin Random House, with elaborate shelves filled with vintage Penguin Classics. I had never seen so many vintage Penguins in one place before!
The second out of the three Addyman bookshops (I still need to visit the third – Murder & Mayhem bookshop), it can be considered to be one of the more insta-worthy in Hay-On-Wye. This particular bookshop isn’t just about celebrating the stories told through the written word, but it also celebrates the beauty that books themselves have. The books are organised by colour, and there are little reading nooks dotted throughout the shop.
The best thing about this place, though? The sign outside stating that Kindles are banned.
Hay On Wye Booksellers is one of the most memorable bookshops in this small town, and that is partly due to its unique style. It has a vintage appeal – black and white wood panelling, two floors of wooden-shelving and a little swinging sign; it certainly stands out from the rest of the street. The books range from well-known bestsellers, rare editions, and beautiful covers, you will definitely need to set aside some time when visiting this one. There are sofas and plenty of space to move about, so you’ll feel right at home.
Green Ink Booksellers
Green Ink Booksellers is the newest bookshop to open in Hay-On-Wye, joining the town of books in 2018. I love that in a world where bookshops are becoming a dying trend, there are exceptions like these that give hope for the future of bookselling. The outside of the shop is beautiful: painted in a vibrant teal and gold lettering for its name, you really can’t miss it. The shop focuses on history, philosophy, and literature, spanning over two levels. If you go down the creaky steps, you’ll find editions of memorable classics – an entire shelf dedicated to Enid Blyton was the highlight for me.
The Bookshops I still need to visit
The thing with Hay-On-Wye is that there are just so many bookshops, each requiring a decent amount of time to look at every bookshelf, that it’s impossible to see them all within one or two visits. There are still a few bookshops I need to see, such as:
Murder and Mayhem
This bookshop sells exactly what the name says. Filled with solely crime, thriller, and horror books, it’s high on my list for my next trip to Hay-On-Wye. As the same owner runs it as the Addyman bookshops, I have high expectations.
It’s strange for me to put this on my list as I don’t love poetry that much. However, as it’s the only bookshop in the UK dedicated solely to poetry, I am curious to see what’s on offer. There are a few poets that I like (Christina Rossetti is my favourite!), so I might surprise myself and find some hidden treasures hidden amongst the shelves.
Honesty Bookshop in Hay Castle
There is a bookshop on the castle grounds!! Hay Castle is currently under construction, so it’s closed until 2020. If only I had realised that Honesty Bookshop is still open! Definitely need to go back soon. This bookshop consists of open shelves against the walls of the castle grounds and has been there since the 1960s. There is a payment box there, all books are £1, and all money goes towards the castle. It’s a beautiful idea that allows you to read a book and enjoy the small bustle of the town centre, and I cannot wait to see it for myself.
Other Things To Do In Hay-On-Wye
Hay-On-Wye is the town of books, but there are other places to see for those who aren’t so interested in the bookshops (probably those who have been dragged there against their will – apologies to my boyfriend). What makes Hay-On-Wye so sweet is that there is nothing but independent shops and eateries – not a single branded in chain in sight (Other than a small Co-Op and Spar).
Here are other places of interest:
Right now, as I mentioned earlier, the castle is closed for renovations until 2020. This beautiful building is under threat – the walls are collapsing, there are signs of extreme deterioration, the Norman Keep is severely unstable. However, part of the grounds themselves are still open, and they are lovely to walk around if you need a break from all those bookshops.
Bookshops aren’t the only shops available in Hay-On-Wye. As we walked around the cobbled streets, we found CD and DVD shops, antiques, shops selling costumes, crafts, fudge, anything you can think of.
Another notable store
Another shop that I visited that deserves a mention in this post is Bartums & Co. It’s a beautiful stationary shop that spans across two floors and supplies a range of stationery and writing instruments, such as fine pens and calligraphy, pots of ink and quills, high-quality paper and notebooks, office supplies, bookmarks, letter writing sets, files and folders and so much more. It even smells like an old, traditional stationary shop – it’s a writer’s haven!
On the second level, there is a desk with paper and different types of fountain pens and ink so you can see which pen is right for you. I came out of there with a new bucket-list bookmark (lists all the must-read books of all time) and a letter writing set, but I also almost came out with a set of temporary book tattoos, a new notebook, and a handful of pens. I had to be stopped as by the time I had reached this shop, my bank account was crying…
Eateries in Hay-On-Wye
I have to admit, I wasn’t blown away by the selection of eateries in Hay-On-Wye, but that’s because I couldn’t see that many to choose from, so I’m sure there’s plenty there to find.
For lunch, we went to a cafe called The Shepard’s Parlour, which served freshly made sandwiches, ice cream, soups, and more. The iced coffee was amazing, and my mozzarella sandwich tasted lovely. Will be returning to try the cakes though!
We went to the restaurant at The Three Tuns, a pub with a cute little courtyard at the back, fairy lights running along the wooden staircases. It was an Italian menu, I had crab tagliatelle, and it tasted delicious. However, the brownie was the best part of the meal by far!
If you’re a bookworm, you NEED to visit Hay-On-Wye. It’s a book paradise, filled with rare treasures and well-known favourites for half the price you would expect to pay at Waterstones; safe to say, you will never want to leave.
(I recommend going once you’ve been paid though – your bank account will be very empty after your visit!)
When I first started reading Little Women, I didn’t expect to fall in love with Jo so much. I certainly didn’t plan on her becoming one of my favourite literary characters ever, along with Cathy Earnshaw and Elizabeth Bennet. The moment when I realised how much I’m going to like Jo was during the first part of the novel; she wrote a play for her sisters to act out on Christmas Day – I used to boss my sisters around when I was little as we put on performances for our parents, so it was undoubtedly a relatable scene!
So after that, my admiration for Jo continued to grow as the novel went on. Here are a few reasons why she is the best little woman, and certainly an unforgettable character.
One thing that I love about Jo is her determination. She’s determined to help her mother see her husband when he falls ill at war, so she shaves her hair off to sell it (even if it was not needed.) She is determined to see her novels published so she can send money home for ailing Beth. But that’s not the only reason why she writes. When reading the book, you can see her dedication to her stories, keeping herself away in her little corner of the attic, wearing her specific writers’ clothing (more on this later).
When she sets her mind to something, no can stop her from doing it.
Throughout the novel, Jo often wished that she ‘was a boy’ and would swear, whistle, ruffle her skirts. She’s blunt and opinionated and can be clumsy, as shown by her setting her dress on fire while warming herself up. She struggles to remain within the domestic sphere, feeling angry when she can’t fight in the Civil War alongside her father.
One of my favourite scenes from the novel is when she and Amy call upon their neighbours, and Jo purposely shocks Amy with her erratic behaviour. Jo hates making calls (customary for women at the time) and so decides to have a bit of fun. When Amy tells her to be ‘calm, cool, and quiet,’ she says no more than a few words at a time. When Amy said she should speak more with the ladies, Jo is over the top and silly. Amy stops caring what Jo does, so she goes and plays with the boys, making a mess of her best dress. I found the whole scene hilarious as it’s Jo’s way of rebelling against the high-class, feminine tradition of making calls. She refuses to fit in and act a certain way – and if that means causing a scene, then she shall create a scene.
Majority of the time, when you ask someone who your favourite character from Little Women is, the answer will be Jo. So I think that that’s because she is so ahead of her time, and so we can relate to her more.
As mentioned earlier, she doesn’t attempt to fit in with society’s rules for women; she instead embodies a strong, different type of femininity that I think applies to today’s gender ‘roles.’ She’s independent, chases her dreams and continuously works to better her talents. She accepts who she is, instead of whom the world wants her to be, and allows herself to grow and move forward, realising that she does love Bhaer.
She was considered to be imperfect because she was not a stereotypical woman, and that’s why she is a loved character. Her unladylike ways are flaws to her, and there are times throughout the novel when she is unhappy that she is not the proper lady. However, she accepts these ‘flaws’ and continues to do what she believes she needs to do. You just can’t help but be inspired by her.
She’s a writer
As a writer, I couldn’t write this post without including Jo’s literary talents. My favourite parts of Little Women are the scenes where Jo puts on her ‘scribbling suit’ and gets to work, isolating herself for hours.
What I love is the significance of writing for Jo – it plays such a massive part of her life. Her skills develop through the book as she regularly devotes her time to her craft, in her own private writing space, something that I wish I could have!
Writing is also a necessary act for Jo in a way. She’s a fiery character with lots of energy, and writing helps her release that energy and produce something that becomes extremely successful. It was also her way of letting go of her struggles, such as losing Meg to Jon, or the pressures of society to become the women she despises or Beth’s death. Her emotions are expressed through her words – I remember almost crying at the poem she wrote about her sisters and herself towards the end of the novel.
It is partly through her writing that Jo learns to be herself. When Jo tried to live as Beth did, Jo was not herself. Her mother persuaded her to write something, anything, it led to Jo’s writing success, and her creative energy that everyone adored returned.
It’s crazy to think that I started this blog six months ago. I haven’t posted on here half as regularly as what I intended, so I think that’s why I feel a bit strange writing this, as if it’s my baby and I haven’t been looking after it the way I should be. But I’m still happy with it so far, and I love writing for it.
I never really wanted to post so much personal stuff on my blog, simply because I’m not that soppy and just get on with things instead of reflecting on them. But recently, my lack of writing has become so frustrating that I’ve settled for writing whatever comes to my head, and my post Finding the time to write was born. Turns out, I loved writing it, and since then I’ve been more open to posting random thoughts that come to mind.
It’s weird to think that my bookstagram started as a portfolio, a way to show my skills in social media. But it’s turned into something that I love doing, that I love looking at again and again. My blog started as a follow of this, when I realised how annoying it was to have so many thoughts that wouldn’t fit in an Instagram caption. It took me a month to create it, as I was too picky with the designs, and wanted each post to be perfect.
While I still have that picky mindset about the website itself (especially since starting my job for an SEO agency), when it comes to the blogs however, I don’t really care about making sure they’re perfect. I just do what I want to do and if a lot of people read it, then that’s incredible. But, I’ve stopped living with the fear of my latest post not reaching high standards and a large number of traffic, because this blog is only six months old.
I’ve always had a plan about my life, where I want to be and how I’m going to get there. I set myself high standards, and beat myself up when I don’t achieve them. I think that’s why my novel has been taking so long; I’d write three sentences then spend a good fifteen minutes at least trying to think of better wording and check I’ve properly built up whatever it is that I’m writing about.
But now, I write in my notebook before my laptop, so I can just scribble words down and edit them later. I’ve got so much more done in the past couple months than I did last year, and that was when it was my dissertation. I’ve still set myself a deadline, but I’m not worrying too much about it being perfect. And that’s also how I feel about my blog.
So, who knows what it’s going to look like six months from now? It might be the same, or I might have changed it all completely. That’s what I find exciting about all this – watching my blog grow and grow.
How many times in your life have you heard the phrase ‘Don’t worry about it,’’ or been told ‘not to worry’? I’ve heard it a countless number of times.
The thing is, I am a worrier. I always have been. I worry about the work I have; I worry that people don’t like me. I worry that my novel will be turned down by every publisher on this earth. I’m always wondering what would happen if I don’t finish that guest blog from last week, or if I forget to keep in contact with the people I freelance for? Or what if we don’t save the planet in time, or what if one day my boyfriend wakes up and suddenly decides that he doesn’t like me anymore?
I think I was told not to worry by pretty much everyone when I was applying for grad jobs near the end of uni. Whenever I mentioned that I had applied for 478783 jobs so far, but no one had got in contact, “don’t worry about it” was the go-to response. And I hated it. I never really knew what to say, as it was frankly a stupid thing to say to someone in that type of situation. We all worry about not having a job. Our lives depend on one; we literally cannot live without working at some point in our lives. When you’re searching for a job, you have every reason to worry, and we all know that. So what’s the point in telling us not to?
I feel that way with any situation. We all worry when something we’ve been working on for years doesn’t amount to anything. Imagine how stressed Tolkien would have been (presumably) sending Lord of the Rings to a publisher after spending an entire ten years (!!) on it? There’s always a slither of doubt creeping into the back of our minds, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Even if we push it away, it’s still there.
Yes, some things don’t require as much worrying as others – there’s a difference between panicking over losing money and whether your hair looks good, but that’s up to use to be brave and just accept that that horrible little voice is right. Because sometimes, your hair doesn’t look good. No offence to anyone, but we’ve all been there.
We all consider these sorts of things, and that’s OK because that encourages us to work even harder. It’s your motivation, proving that dark voice wrong. And if you didn’t, that’s OK too, because you would have learned from that and got on with your next project – and it will always be even better than the last one.
So next time you’re about to tell someone not to worry, don’t. Yes, comfort them, make them feel better, let them know that they are doing an excellent job, but don’t tell them not to worry. Because if they stay super chill all of their lives, they are left with this false sense of security as nothing is going ever going to go drastically wrong. And when it does, they’re in for a shock.